tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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