but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize