I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
