I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize