I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
