I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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