ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize