So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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