life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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