Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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