my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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