What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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