is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
