Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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