Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
