You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize