There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
