I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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