can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
