i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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