operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
