OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
