She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
