Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
