U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
