i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
