The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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