Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
