i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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