One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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