In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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