my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
