I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
