I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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