just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
