OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
