Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
