I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
