you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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