You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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