were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize