fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
