did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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