its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
