Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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