I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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