The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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