so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
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We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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