Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
