pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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