somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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