...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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