he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
