would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
