I want to have your abortion
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
