I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want her autograph on my taint
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
