How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
