garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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