So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
